Being an "RM" (returned missionary) comes with an interesting stigma. As soon as you step off that plane it's like everyone expects that you have your life together, know exactly what you want to do in school, are ready to get married to the first guy who asks, and should know every Sunday School answer. Ahem.....well I'm here to say that....well that's not quite the case.
I can't quite say I know exactly what I want to do as far as schooling goes- I do know that I"m going into Public Health with an emphasis on Epidemiology...and I still don't know how to spell it.....but no, I have no idea what the heck I'm going to do with that, but that's okay.
The marriage jokes have started. Since being home I've quickly remembered how much I dislike being social. I'm a closet introvert. I've self diagnosed myself through: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html
23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert
1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.
2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people. (personally it's mostly for the food)
3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.
5. You've been called "too intense."
6. You're easily distracted. (squirrel)
7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards. (So incredibly true)
9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert. (Well I would actually have to talk to boys)
12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.
13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.
14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends. (It's nothing personal if I don't answer)
15. You notice details that others don't.
16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.(It's hilarious, I wish you could hear it)
17. You have low blood pressure.
18. You’ve been called an “old soul” -– since your 20s.
19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings
20. You look at the big picture.
21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.”
22. You’re a writer. (I have a blog...does that count?)
23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.
I would add one more....#24...You make social plans that seems like a good idea, and then completely dread it and look for every excuse to get out of going.
It was easy being social as a missionary- I just hid behind the tag! People only needed to know Sister Allred, forget about Sarah.
Now for the Sunday School answers....before my mission I pictured myself returning from the mission field as a spiritual giant...I would have countless scriptures memorized, I would know every scriptural story and would be able to deliver riveting talks given 3 minutes notice. Well that dream was dashed...I don't know all the answers, in fact, if anything I've just come to realize how far I have to go! People still get on my nerves, and my patience hasn't fully developed. Overall I'm still imperfect, but I now have a greater drive and desire to be better. One little step at a time...good thing God doesn't demand perfection, only progress.
Yours Truly,
A RM Closet Introvert
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